I think in the last weeks, since it became clear that our Kickstarter would be very successful, some people have started looking at me differently. It felt funny to me, as I didn’t feel any different than before. But I think this week, I felt for the first time that something has changed too.
Rationally, I’m not sure why I should be perceived differently — since the start of this Hike! project, we were dedicated to making it a success. We developed a game and prepared for the Kickstarter and we really did our homework in making sure we covered everything. We planned to see the project through — we would adjust the plans according to the reached funding, of course, but our dedication would not change. So the outcome really wouldn’t determine the process that led to it.
Yet most of the people probably didn’t see the efforts that went into the project, they only see the result.
Before, we were nobody. We had this afternoon hobby project and almost no following on social media. And while we were in contact with a lot of people who believed in us, supported us, and were willing to work with us, we were also told on several occasions that we are too small to be of interest to anybody, and a ton of our emails were never answered. And now that the Kickstarter was a success, and people saw we raised over 100k Euros, a lot of those people actually noticed us and decided that hey, maybe they do want to work with us.
I also know I learned a lot through this Kickstarter experience, but it was a continuous process, and I would probably have learned just as much if the project had failed. So from my point of view, there was no step change, no obvious discontinuity that would justify the sudden change in perception.
But there was a change. People have started looking at us as a business. I’ve been in a meeting where I was asked if I was an employee or a CEO. It almost felt funny to me — what employee, we’re still that same group of friends investing our free time into the project!
And then this week, I was doing some bureaucracy. I was applying to get a barcode for our company, and I had a very nice conversation with their customer support guy, who helped me figure out what exactly we need. They have a subscription that is based on the annual income, and the funds from the Kickstarter alone are enough that we are too big for the lowest income category. And though this means our subscription for the next year will be higher than it could be, this and the whole process of applying for a barcode really feel like something that a serious business would do. And I don’t know why, but this made me feel like a very responsible person. Like a grown-up.
Now I know we have a lot to learn to really become a serious business, but this was the moment when I started seeing the foundations.
This feeling was then reinforced a few hours later when I had some personal commitments that I wanted to attend. I have planned my workday around it, and when I turned off my computer, I knew that I did everything that needed to be done and that the project was well on the way, so I could finish working for the day. And the best part about it was that I didn’t have to ask anyone’s permission to leave work early, I just closed the computer and that was it. Because I am responsible not just for one project, but for the company. I am my own boss, I can manage my time however I like, and the progress of everything depends one hundred percent on me and my fiancé.
And that knowledge is really empowering.
It feels like taking the wheel of my own life into my hands and taking responsibility for my own life. And yes, there is a lot of responsibility. But there is also freedom and independence. And the best part is that responsibility doesn’t feel like a burden, I am not afraid of it, and I haven’t lost my optimism and enthusiasm. It feels like the first step towards a lifestyle that I envisioned one year ago when I set out on this journey, and that I talked about in the first posts.
And I know that this is only the start and that we have a very long way to go, and a lot of potential pitfalls on the way, but this feels like the beginning of something amazing.
I am coming to realise that now that I’ve experienced it, I am probably hooked. I don’t think I’ll ever see jobs and employment in the same way as before. I also know at this point, it’s impossible for me to be completely independent. I really miss physics and I want to expand my knowledge of numerical methods. For this, I will need to study, gain knowledge, possibly have a mentor and work on projects that are too big for one person and that are too complex and out of my scope to figure them out on my own anyway, so a part of my life will very likely be tied to a system and employment.
But this Kickstarter has made it possible that at the same time, there will be a part of my life that will be completely mine and that I will be able to manage however I want.
And this knowledge is very liberating.
To responsibility and freedom!
Nika